How To Send DMs that Build Relationships

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Today I got to hang out in a Clubhouse room with the amazing Annabelle Bayhan talking about the art of the DM.

If you are building your business on social media and ESPECIALLY if you are into any of the social audio apps like Clubhouse, Greenroom, or Twitter Spaces, you need to learn the art of the DM.

I have been spending LOTs of time in the DMs – this is my #1 tip for how to cut through the noise, stand out, and build a real connection!

Full Transcript:

Hello, my friend this is Adrian. And I’m so happy to be with you today and share a little bit about an experience I had this morning and something that I am, I’m doing a lot more of as I grow my own business with Contact Mapping and also experiencing and seeing so many others doing a lot more of as well. And that is moving conversations from a public forum, whether that’s a social audio app, like a Clubhouse or a Greenroom or a Twitter Spaces, or even from people’s stories, which is another great place to do this from, or even from posts, moving conversation from a more public forum into a more private conversation by effectively sliding into the DMs. Right? So that has become a very common and I think accepted way of being able to, to reach out to people and with an app like Clubhouse, it’s actually, you know, basically built into the way that the app even works, where it features those social profiles like Instagram and Twitter, so prominently. And so there’s so much more of this happening now. And I want to talk to you about this idea of how do you send DMs that cut through the noise that build relationships and that move the conversation off app when you’re talking about a Clubhouse or move that relationship forward in a more private setting.

So I got to be part of a room with one of my favorite creators in general, and certainly on Clubhouse, her name’s Annabelle Bayhan, and she is awesome. And she had a room of this same title earlier today. And so I’m, I’m kind of shamelessly stealing her room title to share with you my thoughts on this. And so here’s my number. One thing that it comes down to, you have got to figure out a way to find something in what someone shared that is more meaningful and more nuanced than just the thing that you read directly from their profile, whether that’s their bio on Clubhouse, whether that’s, you know, the picture that they posted or whatever, find something specific that is meaningful to you, and that you think will be meaningful to them and use that in those DMs, that is where the magic happens.

And so I want to share with you a story to illustrate this, and it was an amazing coincidence you might say. Yeah, I don’t think it was a coincidence, but there was another thing that happened. So I was in this room with Annabel today and there was another person who was there as well, a guy named Jeff McMahon and Jeff lives down in national, the musician. And he is somebody who is really this awesome guy. Who’s got a great vibe and hello, Jay Michael Smith. Great to see buddy, he’s got this amazing vibe. He’s just this really person that he plays music a lot of times in rooms that he’s in, just because that’s kind of the language that he speaks. But as an example of this, this happened on May 1st. I had to go back and check the date, but I know it happened on May 1st because I was able to go back into my Contact Mapping and find the exact moment.

So Jeff you’ll see if you follow him on Clubhouse or if you have experienced anything with him, he talks about that. He played music with Tim McGraw for a number of years. And so I already knew that about him. You know, he’s this famous guy he’s really, really cool, but I didn’t know this story. And this was the thing that majorly impacted me. So one of Tim McGraw’s most famous songs is a song called live, like you were dying. And it’s this beautiful song about somebody who, you know, has this near death experience and decides to live like they were dying and to live this greater life. But Jeff got to be a part of the creation of that song, which that was pretty cool. But we were in a Clubhouse room on May 1st, and it was kind of a mindset room and people were sharing different experiences.

And there was somebody in that room who had had a traumatic brain injury. And it basically came up that this person had when they had that injury, that someone had sent them this song and it had really powerfully impacted them. And Jeff happened to be in the room with this person in that moment. And so Jeff was able to share with that person and really love on that person. But then Jeff played that song live in the room and I’m telling you, it was, there’s very few moments that I’ve had on any social platform, certainly Clubhouse where it’s just total silence where it just, no one everyone is so moved. No one can say a word. And it was that kind of moment. It was, it was probably the most beautiful moment I hadn’t experienced on any of those social audio platforms. It was incredible.

And so Jeff was in this room with Annabel this morning and I was able to play back to Jeff, what a powerful impact that moment and that experience had had on me. And that is something far greater than anything that I could have just sort of said something generic or said, Hey, man, I lived here and you and Clubhouse and that sort of it, or whatever it is, right. That when we can be specific, when we can tell someone what it is specifically that we appreciate about them, what it is that we love about them, what it is that was meaningful to us about what they brought to the table that is a far more meaningful and more powerful share than just that generic thing. And so what I want you to begin doing is collecting these moments in these stories, especially on Clubhouse and Twitter spaces in green room, where there’s so much sort of organic anecdote, things that come up that are, are great, that are not necessarily the things that belong in the highlight reel, but they’re really and amazing stories start collecting those stories and use those to be able to move people forward in a true connection and conversation through initiating the conversation there another great way to do that.

Same thing, stories are this amazing. You get this insight right there, there are fleeting. And so you have this ability to grab hold of something from someone’s stories and use that in the same way. And what I love about stories replies is that they’re not a public reply, right? They go straight into the DMs. And so you’re able to launch that conversation directly from reacting to somebody’s story share and move it into the DMs immediately. So that is what I believe is the most powerful way to send DMs. That build relationships is to be really specific and to cut through the noises of generic and cut through the noise of the script and just be authentic, be who you are, the real and share what actually had an impact on you. Don’t fake it, the real about it, and it will show. So that’s what I want to encourage you.

And I mentioned along the way that I have a way of tracking this stuff, right? So I was able to easily get back to that story with Jeff and know that it was on May 1st, remember the name of this, remember that it was a medic, an injury and not cancer or whatever, because I was able to go and find it in my Contact Mapping app. And for those of you who don’t know, we actually integrate with that platform. So we integrate with Clubhouse, we integrate with Instagram and Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn and as well. And so I’m able to do that so powerfully. And if you are curious and would be interested to see how I do what I do, how I was able to get back to that little details. So quickly specifically with Jeff, what I’d love to do, if you just DM me the word Clubhouse, or if you’re watching this on YouTube drop that in the comments, I will reach out to you and and connect with you.

And I’ll share with you a little video showing how I do that. Exactly. That’s just a couple minutes long and I think you’ll love it. So hope you got some value out of that. If you did make sure you DM me Clubhouse and I will send you that video, but please also tag this with somebody who needs to see it or share it. I would be so grateful for you to do that. And I hope that helps you to have more effective and powerful and worthwhile conversations in the DMs because I really think that’s where true connection is made. So thanks for watching. Hope you have a great day, enjoy your weekend, and I’ll talk to you soon. See ya.